Regrets of a Would-Be StarClan Cat
by Cinderfire16
Summary: Our two favorite apprentices went to Snakerocks to prove their loyalty and become warriors. Now, he must deal with the aftermath without Brightpaw by his side and with the newly named Cloudtail as a potential enemy... this won't end well. Taken from Storm-Eyes-Osprey's Adopt-a-Story.
1. Chapter 1

"You're awake." Cinderpelt got to her paws and limped over to a corner of the den. Swiftpaw flinched when she limped toward him with something in her mouth, but relaxed when she set it down and backed away. She could probably smell his fear.

"Those are some herbs to help you start healing." The medicine cat explained. "It's been more than a few sunrises since you woke up but you still have a long way to go. Would you like some water?" It hurt to lift his head but one look told him that sticky cobwebs smothered him from head to tail. He rested his chin on his paws and focused on keeping his eyes open. Cinderpelt came back with a wad of dripping moss and it took all his strength to open his mouth.

"Bluestar, Fireheart and Cloudtail were here earlier. You might not remember much but you woke up for a few heartbeats. Bluestar gave you a warrior name. Cloudtail insisted because he wanted Brightpaw to have one in StarClan. You are now Swiftclaw and Brightheart." Cinderpelt informed the black and white tom. He let the knowledge sink in. They had achieved their goal mm of becoming warriors, but if the price was Brightpaw-heart's life then StarClan should take him as well. There was no point to such a hollow victory.

"I thought I told you to get some rest." Cinderpelt snapped at the unknown cat. A flash of white fur told him exactly who it was.

"I couldn't sleep." Cloudtail admitted as he padded over to Swiftclaw.

"Good to see you awake." The white warrior meowed.

"Why?" It hurt to move his mouth, let alone try to speak. His voice came out in a rasp and he licked at the moss ball.

"I need to know that Brightheart's death meant something, and if that means keeping you alive then I'll do it."

It was supposed to be him... he should be dead! He didn't want Brightheart to die!

"Do you think you can eat?" Cloudtail asked.

"Hurts." Swiftclaw croaked out.

So much pain... he let his head drop back onto his paws and closed his eyes. Hopefully he would feel better when he woke up. Not like he deserved it.

**Dear StarClan, why?! **


	2. Chapter 2

He did feel better when he woke up. A lot better. So much better that he might as well be in StarClan, but he wasn't. He was still in Cinderpelt's den and for some reason beyond what he wanted to think about, Cloudtail slept beside him.

"Feel better?"

"Did I go to StarClan and not remember? I feel fine now, like I could run for miles, actually."

"You managed to eat something small earlier, pieces of mouse, and if Cloudtail had his way he would use up my entire supply of poppy seeds. He didn't use all of them, but enough to numb your pain. He's not going away anytime soon, that's for sure." Cinderpelt snorted.

"Why?!" Swiftclaw wondered.

"Ask him. He's up now." The medicine cat chuckled. The snow-furred warrior spat playfully at the limp grey she-cat, and rolled his eyes.

"Call it guilt, if that helps." He growled before starting to poke his black and white companion with his nose. Swiftclaw squirmed uneasily. Why was Cloudtail being so overprotective? They were basically enemies before this happened!

_Or is that what you wanted to believe? _A small voice in the back of his head prompted. _What if he was trying to be your friend this entire time? _

"That's mouse-brained." He muttered under his breath.

"Unless you plan on being my apprentice, I think you've helped enough." Cinderpelt's voice jerked him out of his thoughts just as Cloudtail stepped back, obviously satisfied. _What is up with that tom?_

* * *

><p>The white warrior was ushered out of the den and stalked off, hopefully to go be productive to the Clan and stop confusing Swiftclaw. Cinderpelt came back with a serious look on her face.<p>

"You did go to StarClan, for a brief time, but we got you back. StarClan... no one really knows why they do certain things the way they do, but if it can't be changed then what else can we do but accept it? The main point is that the Clan would rather have you back with us then not at all, no matter what you look like." Cinderpelt informed him as she guided him to the clear pool of water they used to drink. Staring back at him were two cats. One was a grey tabby with a limp hind leg and the other... he was smaller. Not by much, but enough to notice the difference. His eyes were still the same green and his pelt was still patched black-and-white, but he was smaller and he felt... different somehow.

"What's wrong with me, Cinderpelt?" He croaked out.

"Nothing is wrong with you!" She snapped. "Absolutely nothing, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. StarClan had to change you a bit because your old body was too broken, but something happened and now... you're a she-cat." Swiftclaw fainted.

* * *

><p>Warmth made his eyes snap open, and to his surprise, Cloudtail wasn't the one providing it. Longtail sat before him, one pale left paw over his white one.<p>

"You're not gonna act strange now, are you?" He asked with a sigh. Longtail shook his head.

"I've had some time to understand it. I'm more concerned about your trip to Snakerocks. What were you thinking?!"

"If we hadn't then Bluestar would have never made us warriors! I didn't want to be an apprentice for the rest of my life and Brightheart supported that!"

"Brightheart is dead, Swiftclaw, and you were a mouse-step away from following her! Now we're down a warrior and StarClan's intervention turned you into a she-cat!"

"Well it happened! We found what was hiding at Snakerocks and we got our warrior names and we helped the Clan and there's nothing you can do about it now, so get out of my face, or are you just going to sit here and yell at me for something of which I clearly have no control?!" Longtail had recoiled, and now made to leave the den. Swiftclaw sighed.

"Can you go find Whitestorm? This whole thing was originally my idea and I have some major apologizing to do."

The tan warrior disappeared and Swiftclaw placed his head back on his paws. A few moments later heralded a flash of white fur and yellow eyes.

"I made a mistake, Whitestorm. I can't give you your apprentice back, but I made a mistake and I don't know how to fix it so I'll take anything you think of."

"For starters, what you did was extremely foolish, but Brightheart has always been determined and you wouldn't have been able to keep her back if you wanted to. There's no point in blaming yourself for the actions of another cat. As it were, you two fought like warriors so Fireheart practically begged Bluestar to give you your names. You have him to thank for that. Also, StarClan has given you more of a curse than I could ever think to bestow, so I'll leave you to figure out the rest of your life as a she-cat. I'll admit that I laughed at first, but now I see that StarClan kept you alive for a reason. There's nothing more you can do for me but live your life as well as Brightheart wants you to. I'll gain another apprentice, I'm sure, and none of us will forget Brightheart. Not all curses seem like gifts, but the ones that do often turn out for the better."

Swiftpaw dipped his head and Whitestorm padded away.

That was one cat down, now if he could just figure out what the heck was up with Cloudtail he could go back to sleep!


	3. Chapter 3

"Why are you really here?" Swiftclaw demanded the next time his snow-furred stalker entered the medicine den, this time bearing food. The black-and-white tom appreciated the squirrel, because he had yet to eat, but Cloudtail didn't need to know that.

"I want to help you get better. Why can't that be enough?"

"You're smothering me! The only thing we ever had in common was Brightheart and now you're acting weird and it's mouse-brained that you won't tell me why!"

Cinderpelt had a knowing look in her eye as she whispered something to the white warrior.

"No way am I telling him that! He'll hate me forever!"

"Doesn't he deserve to know the truth?" She smirked. Cloudtail rolled his eyes at Swiftclaw's determined expression.

"If you don't tell him then I will, and then you'll really be embarrassed." She assured him.

"Tell me what?!" Swiftclaw snarled.

"I like you!" Cloudtail blurted out. "There, I said it. Happy now? If you need me I'll be hunting." He scowled.

"Wait up!" Swiftclaw yelped as he struggled to his paws.

"You can't just tell me something like that and walk away like it doesn't matter!" He yowled as he collapsed.

"Well that's exactly what I'm doing." Cloudtail snorted.

"Get back here you coward!" The black and white warrior snapped. "You know I can't walk yet!"

"I think that's the point." Despite everyone's curiosity,Whitestorm was the only one brave enough to see what all the yowling was about. He now stood beside Cinderpelt as they watched Swiftclaw limp across camp to find Cloudtail, who was halfway through the gorse tunnel.

"Mouse-hearted rat!" The injured warrior scowled.

"What was that all about?" Whitestorm asked.

"Stupid tom decides to tell me he likes me and runs away like I bit his tail off. Great StarClan, does everyone do this? He's going to explain when he gets back. I'll get Fireheart to make him de-tick all the elders if he doesn't."

"I'm not sure Fireheart would agree to that," The white warrior chuckled. "But it's worth a shot. What prompted his confession?"

"I told him he's been acting all weird and Cinderpelt obviously knew what he was going to say because she blackmailed him into saying it. Is everyone like this when they admit that they like someone?"

"Seems like normal to me," Cinderpelt chuckled. "I had to tell Fireheart that Sandstorm liked him and they still haven't made a move, either of them!... Cats take love seriously, Swiftclaw, and I'm pretty sure Cloudtail liked you long before StarClan intervened. He was afraid you wouldn't like him back and that… that's always the hardest thing to get over. Go back to your nest, Swiftclaw. Despite StarClan's visit you're still very injured. I'm sure he'll be here to explain when you wake up."

Swiftclaw rolled his eyes and limped back to the medicine den, aware of the many sets of curious eyes on him. They could stare all they wanted, but none of them had the answers he needed. They didn't matter.

"Wise words, for one so young. Whitestorm purred softly when Swiftclaw was out of earshot. "I would hope you don't know from experience, because you're right, but then I remember that medicine cats are still cats, bound to StarClan or not… you've sacrificed your entire future for a shot at serving your Clan, and for that, we thank you." The large white tom meowed, licking the smaller grey she-cat between the ears. "You'll be a wonderful medicine cat, Cinderpelt. You just have to trust yourself and know that StarClan guides your paws."

The snow-furred senior warrior got to his paws and loped off.

"Thank you," Cinderpelt murmured. Bluestar's nephew flicked his ears and dipped his head.

Whitestorm was right. Things would turn out for the better. She had to believe that.


End file.
